Living through end of term...my survival kit!

Lent term ended today!!!! 

After the horrendously stressful conclusion of Michaelmus term, 

subjecting myself to 'that' 2 more times...seemed cruel. 

But here's the thing, stress usually results from a loss of perspective/ shift in priorities. 

So...my solution was to identify and then do the things that "ground" me daily (and often hourly). 

I my survival kit had to include spiritual, social, emotional and physical goals. So here it is: 

1. Begin each day with scripture study and prayer...no matter how much earlier I'd have to get up. 

2. Go for a run. So...when I have writers block, I run outside (in the rain). Honestly, my best ideas often come during running.  I actually am to the point that the run is a reward! I'm excited to go...no lie! 

3. Because of #2, I have added ice packs to the list. I will definitely be ready for a FULL marathon by the time my thesis is done. 

4. Eat my favourite breakfast (oatmeal)...I actually NEVER get sick of it! And I have ate it every morning this term!! 

5. Dance breaks...and breaks where I actually TALK TO A PERSON! First term I went 3 days....without speaking to anyone at all!!! 

6.  I have to set the environment....with ear plugs (any of my old room mates can attest to this one. I think this term I've spent more time with ear plugs in than out!),  desk light(s), reading glasses, and (this one will seem odd) eye drops. Really I need to go to sleep earlier (that's next's terms big goal, but my eyes are blood shot most of the time). 

Thanks Josie...and Mamma!

7. This one is essential for me...POPCORN. It is my absolute favourite snack. (please note: although I like any type of popcorn...I actually prefer white popcorn....which the UK doesn't have) 

8.  Let/ ask someone to 'rescue' me...haha! When I get an invitation--instead of thinking (instantly) potential word counts per min lost--I try my best to be there for at least some of it. 

9. Make a list of all this things I'm grateful for....and if they are people GO TELL THEM. 

10. As soon as I feel the stress boiling over I start the list up again. REPEAT. 

So I survived. My eyes are still blood shot... I've got some cold sores emerging....my muscles are a bit sore....But it was the best term ever. Tomorrow I'm heading back to Canada for 5 weeks of thesis fieldwork!!!!!

Ohh and love letters to strangers....nothing to report yet....I'm hoping the strangers found them. 

Love letters to strangers....

I am a strong believer in LOVE letters.  I have a serious addiction to stationary....'real' pens...envelopes...cards....and most especially STAMPS. I save these things for the precise moment and the perfect person. Sometimes for years!

It's just so special to know that the writer touched the paper. It's easier to 'hear their voice' when you read the words. Plus, I adore the diction on the individual. The spelling errors and run-on sentences. It's like they're having a conversation. No spell/grammer check. Just the real deal. Sometimes the only way to even partially express gratitude or admiration is in a letter. It comes the closest, I can get to how I actually feel.

I have had many pen pals over the course of my life. Some very frequent. Some occasionally. But if you've ever sent me a letter, I still have it and know exactly where it is. Sometimes I re-read this collection. It's a very interesting type of journal. I learn new things when I read them. I can look back retrospectively and the words often take on more significant meanings.

Here's the thing about letters...they always come at the perfect time. The moment I need a little reminder. A nudge--that the world is full of people with incredible stories-heartache, miracles, business...and that I'm part of there story. That's incredible! And often times, letters remind me of who I really am (or am becoming).  They remind me that separation won't last forever. 

While studying at Cambridge, I have been the recipient of many love letters. They have kept me going....and although my returns are not always prompt...I love sunday afternoons when I sit by my window and write letters....to the people I love in Utah, Ontario, Texas, Alberta, Manitoba, Cambridge and....the strangers.

I sent my sister, Josie this incredible postcard from Paris (for Valentine's day). I love postcard shopping too! I had already picked out and bought 3 postcards for JOSIE. But then I saw this one. It was the winner. But I couldn't get her another one. I walked away....then I had to go back latter in the day and FIND it. Now the incredible miracle of this card. It is exactly the same one Josie sent me....4 years ago when she was in Paris. I didn't remember right then, but my heart did.

Yup so here it is--my challenge. This week is a bit STRESSFUL! Term 2 ends FRIDAY! The library is packed. Thus, I spend basically the whole day and night wearing earplugs. Plus, everyone is grumpy/worried/stressed...So I Cambridge Library Love letters from me...this week! I'll let you know how it goes!

...Infected with the "Cambridge Disease"?!

At the beginning of my studies, the Senior Tutor of St. Edmund's college gave a stellar address. I have reflected on it often over the past few days. 

She said, "Most, possibly all of you will suffer from this disease during your studies at Cambridge. It can potentially be deadly. It's called the imposter syndrome. 

You'll look around and realise you're not suppose to be here. You'll start to worry that you don't belong with this brilliant, disciplined and refined lot.  Maybe somehow after the cumbersome application there was a mistake-- and you got in. There is no cure for a fictitious disease. You got here because we wanted you. So be you. In the end, what makes Cambridge renowned is the students who attend." 

My attempted "secret" deliveries!

Yup, I'm a sufferer of this fictitious disease...not everyday, but sometimes. The people around me are grappling with the world's biggest problems. They come from every country...(almost!). We are all under a (inhumane) amount of stress. ...This Valentine's day was full of moments of gratitude for all the people who love me (in Cambridge, Canada, Utah, Idaho...). Here's the highlights:

Valentine's Tea Party!

Most adorable Valentine from my sister!

Valentine's Bop (aka DANCE)

Mail from Daddy, Josie and both sets of grandparents!!!

Institute with Rebecca and Sister Balderson

Okay not on Valentines exactly but close! Special delivery....

Carly Exclusive: Love Valentine's...inspite of your relationship status!

LOVE! 

 I have come to ADORE St. Valentine's Day. It combines all of my favourite things:

1) Based on a beautiful story about a martyr for Christianity (full story of my first ever blog entry) 

2) LOVE notes, letters, mail, parcels, etc. 

 3) Flowers from my Dad!

  4) DATES and DANCES Parties!

5) Secret deliveries! 

 

6) Heart-shaped pancakes with raspberries, strawberries and cream! 

7) Raspberry jello hearts!

8) A reminder that I am a child of an Eternal God who loves me. 

 So I love Valentine's day....with only 1 exception. Last year, I was a middle school teacher. That was the most trying, horrendous, and wild day of the entire year. Next time....I'm finding a way to get out of it! 

I realize that many people hate, loath, curse and try ignore this holiday. And are probably thinking (if you know me) "Um Carly, you're just trying to get around addressing that Valentine's day has become about romantic LOVE!!" I admit it....so briefly this is what I have to say about "THAT"....

Become the type of person you want to love. In my observation...and experience love is when the best parts of who you are become accentuated when your with that person (and hopefully vise versa).  Or as Regina put it....

"This is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"

Love is like cliff jumping. It's scary and exiciting and risky and unknown.

But happens when you finally decide that

 all the fears aside...what's at the bottom is worth it-

You jump! 

And then you look back up at that cliff and wonder why you almost didn't jump.

Fear almost made you miss out

So for all those on the peering over the edge--go for it.

And for all of those treading in the water--become/prove you're worth the jump! 

Cheers, 

Happy Valentine's Day

Sorry for the looooooong sabbatical!!!

Here are the highlights of the past... 2 months! 

(I promise I'll keep up better starting now)

1. I went to IDAHO! My sister Josie graduated from Brigham  Young University--Idaho. She sang at the graduation! Plus, I got to visit my Blackfoot family! And I saw a few dear friends in Salt Lake City.

My sister, Clara and I headed out on the ice!

2. I was back in the motherland! Oh, Canada I LOVE you! It was incredible. I was very very very busy. First of all I needed to sleep from the horror of Cambridge Essay 1. Once I was over that it was New Years....

That's the view from my house!

3. It was extremely snowy and cold at home. It was a magical Christmas! 

Lilo loves presents

Poppy and I

4. New Years was spent dancing at wedding receptions we "crashed." But since we don't drink or eat their food...I figure that we're doing them a favor. We dance!

All of the cousin's on Christmas Eve at Grandma's House

5. I came back to Cambridge and it snowed. That was horrible. They don't have anything to deal with snow. So it froze!!!

6. My dear friend, Kira Davis, came to Cambridge. I had my first ever visitor! It was perfect timing because I was a tad homesick. I actually got to see a few of the "sights". Kira reminded me of how much of blessing it is that I'm here and that I can make it to the end!  Then I went back with her to London!

7. Kira's brother just finished his mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in France. So the family was in Europe vacationing and picking him up. So then I got invited to Paris for a few days to stay with them!!! It was marvelous! Kira and I came to Europe for our first time together like 5 years ago... So it was nostalgic to be back. However, on our first trip we vowed that the next time we came to the Eiffel Tower we would be married...

8. And last, but not least I PASSED term 1. My results just came back....so that means I'm still studying at Cambridge.

Passing is a good thing...right?!

Serendipity...?!

When I was 14...I wasn't a fan of this movie. The whole accident love story and fate bringing them back together?! Come on, that doesn't happen in real life. But this past week....I might have/ temporarily changed my opinion. FYI serendipity means: happy accident or surprise...like love?!

So my literature review essay is DUE this Nov 30th  FRIDAY at 4:00pm. This week has been full of writing....and riding my bike in the rain and cold sores....and diabetic lows.... and a real serendipity moment(s)... 

Intense University Library!

Mel and I at our library tour

I have to find this book. It's essential and old....and costs $54 dollars on Amazon. BUT Cambridge has every book. It's just finding it. After a long journey in the pouring rain to 3 libraries....a nice librarian with a classy bow tie sorted it out. The book is at the main University Library!

I parked my bike next to a man's metallic white road bike....with a Zebra-printed seat! I figured, "Whatever guy owns that bike would be pretty much perfect!"It is in the restricted area....in a tucked away room. After putting the room in my iPhone Cambridge GPS...I found it!  

It is delightful! Like a fairytale! The ceiling is high....and book shelves with ladders! The room is staffed by a darling librarian with RED glasses! She's classy. She found my book and went over the very STRICT rules. I'm tellin' you worse than the airport! No coats, no pens, no iPods, no photos, no purses...no gum....no FOOD! So she kindly took my diabetic supplies and put them in an "emergency" stop. I settled in between two large book shelves with my own TABLE!!!! 

It was me and some other man in this marvelous room. I was transcribing away....for a LONG time. And I noticed my hands were shaking and I was dizzy. So I needed the emergency food! The librarian was out....and I figured it was just me. So one option climb over the desk and get it!!!! Which I did and then proceed to eat all my emergency food....gotta love diabetes. Just as I was climbing back over the desk. I hear a laugh. HE'S in the ROOM too! And I seem like a crazy person. Just then the librarian came back....so I went back to work.

Then 7 hours later. I am leaving the library....it's dark and rainy and I'm late. I put on my dorky/hideous helmet....and pull my bike out and just then....The owner of the super awesome zebra-printed seat bike comes and it's HIM!!!! For real! He opens his mouth and then... a girl from my research class comes out of no where and is crying! She needs my help with some project. See ya never, zebra-printed seat bike man.

Next day...I don't have to go to the library. But then I realize that my external hard drive is GONE!!! I can't find it anywhere....I do have a kinda back up copy of my life's work essay....but not really. PANIC!!! However, at the central library lost and found I found it. The worker said, "Ohh yes I have it. Oddly enough it was in the commonwealth restricted zone. No one goes there. A very kind young man rushed down straight away in the morning with it. He looked up who the owner was....so I"ll need your ID."

Finally a photo of my bike!

Thank you "very kind" "zebra-printed seat bike" man. The next day I'm in the library, and the secret room is not open on saturdays. I'm working and working and working.... and then it's time to leave. Every person get's checked when they exit. It takes FOREVER! The security guard says,
 "What have you done to the book called "First Nations Education Policy in Canada"?
 I innocently say, "I read it."
 He responds "No you did more than that! There are papers placed in it. We have to use these books for a long time. You must remove the markers now. It could damage the book."
I say, "Okay. Do you have a pen? I need to write down the page numbers?"
"No pens! You're holding up the line. You are ruining the book for everyone else. Just take them out."
I say, "Okay...I'm the only person ever to take this book out. It's 30 years old too."
And then I hear....that same laugh!!! It was Zebra-printed seat bike man. 4 people back in line.

In St. Edmund's orchard! Thanks Mel!

The guard finally was happy (once I took out the paper pieces) and let me through....
and then as FATE would have it....
my cell phone rings right as Zebra-printed bike man walks up. It's kinda an important school related call...I had to answer it RIGHT?
he smiles at me holding the door, shrugs and is off on his bike.

So that's it. But he saved my life...turning in my external drive...My entire term is based on this essay! So serendipity right?! Unexpected surprise.....and as fate will have it....I have to go back to the secret room tomorrow....